jessycanhasblog

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From the land of “don’t even get me fucking started…”

A local church, Church of the Rock, feels the need to put on a motherfucking Easter spectacle every year and cash in on pop culture themes to make it flashy, make it appealing to young people….make it not feel like church.

Although I’m totally sure Jesus rocked a light sabre, I think Princess Leia is a bit of a stretch as the Virgin Mary.

Think the Lucas Films peeps would be thrilled to catch wind of this?

Luke Moonwalker and Ham Solo. Ha!

I’m not religious in the least, and this shit pisses me off.

Filed under church of the rock winnipeg crazy

15 notes

So for my uncles 60th birthday, we are giving his bad joke loving self a 21 Pun Salute - where my aunt got the idea I’ll never know but I love it!

Here are some of the ideas that my mom found - they cater to our love of really terrible puns and potty humour.  Way to go Momma.

When God has a Birthday, does he get Omni-Presents?

What’s a cannibal’s favourite dessert? Boys n berry pie.

I never ask my dentist and his wife to come for dinner. If he hears about a party, he complains, “Why gingivitis over?“ 

The study of farts, aka anus sneeziology.

The most famous novel about glaucoma is a tie between Eye, Cloudious, and You Less Sees.

Making fun of McDonald’s harms democracy. Because it’s dissin franchising. (And if you touch my McDonald’s taters I’ll be disenfrenchfriesed!

Are you crooked? Don’t make me askew twice.

 Accounts receivable for colonoscopy services tend to be in a rears. 

 I bought a house next to a Portapottie. Ah, leakfront property!

Filed under puns toilet humour 21 pun salute

21 notes

My MIL is evil. I send her pics of icicles on their balcony and I get a pic back of the pool in their backyard.

This girl wants to go to the house in Phoenix!!

What was funny though was they called to go through their mail and their phone announces out loud who is calling. “Call from Buckeye” sounded more like ” Call from Bucky” haha

Filed under winnipeg

20 notes

Did my own gel polis today… Good from far but far from good.  I’m stuck with me for a few weeks at least..I shouldn’t have done it when all my nails were shitty and short but oh well…

Did my own gel polis today… Good from far but far from good. I’m stuck with me for a few weeks at least..I shouldn’t have done it when all my nails were shitty and short but oh well…